The Leaning Tower of Pisa, wasn’t supposed to be leaning, but if it were straight it probably wouldn’t be such a popular tourist attraction.
I’m a recovering perfectionist, which is probably why I know a thing or two about this topic.
I mean, I love producing beautiful videos, creating awesome programs, leading my international sisterhood and, frankly, doing things really well. …and I’m critical of what I produce at every step single step of the process.
Whether it’s a new video, or a new program, a livestream or a blog post.
Here’s the deal
I let go, publish, and move forward.
Now, I’ve been fascinated by excellence my whole life.
As It Turns Out
Studies have shown that perfectionism is closely related to shame. it’s like we’re trying to hide something behind being perfect.
“Where there is perfectionism, there is always shame” says Brene Brown.
And perfectionism isn’t the same as healthy striving or a desire for excellence.
Have you ever thought about what is stopping you from getting what you want?
Have you ever thought about what is stopping you from getting what you want…. with men?
I hear you sister, as I experienced this first hand, and I can tell you that this block comes down to two little words:
Now, I want you to know that it is not your fault that you are operating through a masculine lens.
We have been trained to think and act from this mode by society, and as you probably already know, it does not work out well when it comes to our relationships with men.
For many women, the constant energy outpouring of pushing and striving, leads to, (if I can be totally honest with you? ) repelling masculine men.
Here’s how it goes:
When we look at the masculine-feminine spectrum, we have to keep in mind that the two are residing on the two opposite ends of life.
Although they are on different ends, they have a magnetizing pull towards each other.
And for this reason
As a woman, you must flow and go through your life in your feminine orientation to attract a strong masculine presence.
After all, polarities do attract!
Men crave and desire fully feminine women to balance out their masculinity.
When you learn to master the glide and slide between your masculine and your feminine self, accordingly, mighty masculine men will naturally want to bask in your feminine essence.
To dive into this week’s deep lesson on how being too masculine is stopping you from getting what you want with men, click the video link below:
Deep vulnerability is what I’ve been facing soooo intensely in the last few weeks.
It was my birthday last week and I find the solar return, when the Sun returns to the Sun triggers my biggest core wound, that of the withdrawal of the masculine.
I have been trained in astrology for over 20 years and the Sun represents the masculine, the father, so the solar return highlights this in me. You see, my father died when I was 13 years old.
This belief that the masculine will abandon me is very deep inside me, and got triggered again this birthday, despite the fact that the man in my life keeps turning up as so solid, so constant, like a pillar of Divine Love for me.
Why does this matter?
Somewhere along the line I, you, we were taught that vulnerability means weakness. The core message passed to me from my family was “Whatever you do, don’t be seen as vulnerable, not coping, not…..pretending”
Vulnerability is strength. There is power inside it. Courage. A discovery of our heart. Our humanity.
Recognizing, opening to and living through vulnerability and surrender has been an ongoing theme for me in the last few years.
Last week, I reacted to my partner, I believed he was withdrawing, but I knew that I had to speak out my biggest fear, my core wound to him. I had to stop hiding this. I had to let it be seen.
Being seen, speaking up and coming out of hiding are some of the most difficult things for women to do.
Oprahs recent Golden Globe acceptance speech impressed on us that “Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we have”.
It takes vulnerability to do this Huge, copious, messy chunks of it. …and we can’t do that alone. Brene Brown wrote a book called “Daring Greatly” in which she quotes “…embracing our vulnerability is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy” —> Click here to hear more about the Power Of Vulnerability
He became a solid pillar of love for me; he reassured me; of his love, of his care, of his presence.
My vulnerability was seen, held sacred and adored.
I feel more open, closer to him and more real inside.
I encourage you to dare greatly and embrace your vulnerability as one of the key entry ways into your feminine power.
My relationship history looks a bit like this –
I used to attract men who were:
Had no real sense of direction
Didn’t love the feminine (in fact had serious issues with it!)
That I funded (because I made more money)
Blamed me for everything (didn’t own their stuff)
Sex didn’t really work (due to a lack of sexual polarity)
So, being who I am, I had to take a long hard look inside myself to see what it was about me that was attracting this kind of man. I realized that it was largely due to me being swung too hard into my own masculine and not enough in my feminine.
This my dear is how we emasculate men!
This, in addition to my realization 8 years ago that I had also run my companies for the last 25 years from my masculine is what led me to research what feminine power is and how to get more of it! As part of this I’ve been studying relationship and dating for the last 4+ years.
I invite you to click on my new video on “3 Reasons Why Being Masculine Won’t Work In Relationships.”
You’re probably wondering…
I don’t claim to be a relationship expert…but I am an ongoing and avid researcher and teacher about feminine power, and the feminine is all about relationship.
I’ve discovered a boat load of cool stuff around dating and relationships, brain science, hormones and communication. There’s nothing like a lifetime of shitty relationships to drive one to do this, hey!
So that’s what I did.
I’m here to share a few things that I’m discovering about dating and relationship as a smart, savvy, successful woman.
One of the keys to successful relationship as a woman is that being too masculine in your relationship won’t work.
I’m pretty sure that what you are looking for is a very masculine, available and relationshipable (is that a word?) man, right? For you to feel met, matched and adored, then you are going to have to let go of the reins for a bit, let the man lead and learn how to create space, be in your feminine, love your body and invite him toward you.
Check out my new video on “3 Reasons Why Being Masculine Won’t Work In Relationships.”
And I’ll be sharing with you how to be in your feminine power instead!