I’m writing after a 4 month adventure and apologize for a long absence from talking to you.
The truth is, that it all began with making the cardinal mistake for a new business owner…overextending my expenses.
My business last year started up very quickly and very successfully, and I, believed the gods were “on my side” and the momentum was only going to continue to grow. And so, I took on an expensive apartment that, on paper, made sense. I could live there, work from there, it was a great space for a video studio and I could see my clients there. It added up on paper, but the truth is, I bit of more than I could chew and couldn’t for-see other factors moving forward, such as, getting quite sick from the EMF frequencies from a very nearby cellphone tower. This lead to momentum having to slow down and I didn’t have the energy to do what I had started doing. The only way I could move forward was going back into man-mode or surrendering the apartment.
Surrendering was what I chose.
Despite this, what it lead to was a 4 month adventure, that until now, I wasn’t ready to share with you.
It started when I decided to get out of the apartment and sub-let it. It wasn’t until literally the last day of October, that my sub-tenant flew in from China and wrote me a check for the 4 month sub-let. Until that morning, I didn’t have the rent to cover the next month, and I had no certainty that he would take the apartment.
I simply HAD to surrender and trust the flow of life.
Well for me surrender hasn’t been my easiest path.
I was pushed to surrender, finally. It is something that I’ve researched, aspired to, wanted deeply for 20 years, but I really never had any role models to show me HOW to do it.
So, life made me finally let go of a lifetime of resentments, hurts and pain. I let go of not trusting life to take care of me. I let go of the automatic return to “man-mode” that I would tend to do, to “take care of business” because life, apparently, wasn’t doing that for me.
What my last 4 month “Surrender Experiment” has taught me, so far, has been phenomenal. In that time, I have lived completely rent-free at the grace of friends, clients and new friends homes. I taught a 3 day training in a dear friends home in San Diego; I spent 6 weeks on a ranch in San Luis Obisbo in which I took care of the animals and the old man, but spent every few days at a natural hot springs and the opportunity to deeply recover my health; I was lead to what is my new home, via a craigslist post for house sitting, back in the Bay Area at unbelievably low rent for a gorgeous house in Oakland; I am meeting gorgeous masculine men in my dating forays; My youtube channel is building and clients are flocking to me from all over the world to do discovery sessions with me from my videos on there.
And, boy, what a relief, to finally let go, to trust life and to *really* be in my feminine orientation. So much tension has left my body, so much joy and grace is offered to me on a daily basis.
Surrender is so deeply essential to feminine power and so deeply misunderstood. Which is why I created a video about surrender whilst whilst I was in my car driving to a recent meditation intensive.
Click on the video below to see what I have to say about what surrender really is and how to do it. Enjoy and I’d love you to leave a comment!