Deep vulnerability is what I’ve been facing soooo intensely in the last few weeks.
It was my birthday last week and I find the solar return, when the Sun returns to the Sun triggers my biggest core wound, that of the withdrawal of the masculine.
I have been trained in astrology for over 20 years and the Sun represents the masculine, the father, so the solar return highlights this in me. You see, my father died when I was 13 years old.
This belief that the masculine will abandon me is very deep inside me, and got triggered again this birthday, despite the fact that the man in my life keeps turning up as so solid, so constant, like a pillar of Divine Love for me.
Why does this matter?
Somewhere along the line I, you, we were taught that vulnerability means weakness. The core message passed to me from my family was “Whatever you do, don’t be seen as vulnerable, not coping, not…..pretending”
Vulnerability is strength. There is power inside it. Courage. A discovery of our heart. Our humanity.
Recognizing, opening to and living through vulnerability and surrender has been an ongoing theme for me in the last few years.
Last week, I reacted to my partner, I believed he was withdrawing, but I knew that I had to speak out my biggest fear, my core wound to him. I had to stop hiding this. I had to let it be seen.
Being seen, speaking up and coming out of hiding are some of the most difficult things for women to do.
Oprahs recent Golden Globe acceptance speech impressed on us that “Speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we have”.
It takes vulnerability to do this Huge, copious, messy chunks of it. …and we can’t do that alone. Brene Brown wrote a book called “Daring Greatly” in which she quotes “…embracing our vulnerability is risky, but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy” —> Click here to hear more about the Power Of Vulnerability
He became a solid pillar of love for me; he reassured me; of his love, of his care, of his presence.
My vulnerability was seen, held sacred and adored.
I feel more open, closer to him and more real inside.
I encourage you to dare greatly and embrace your vulnerability as one of the key entry ways into your feminine power.
Feminine power has some core elements to it that include softness and opening and I’ve made a video this week covering these aspects of what it takes be more feminine, feel your power and unlock your energy!
Didn’t love the feminine (in fact had serious issues with it!)
That I funded (because I made more money)
Blamed me for everything (didn’t own their stuff)
Sex didn’t really work (due to a lack of sexual polarity)
So, being who I am, I had to take a long hard look inside myself to see what it was about me that was attracting this kind of man. I realized that it was largely due to me being swung too hard into my own masculine and not enough in my feminine.
This my dear is how we emasculate men!
This, in addition to my realization 8 years ago that I had also run my companies for the last 25 years from my masculine is what led me to research what feminine power is and how to get more of it! As part of this I’ve been studying relationship and dating for the last 4+ years.
I don’t claim to be a relationship expert…but I am an ongoing and avid researcher and teacher about feminine power, and the feminine is all about relationship.
I’ve discovered a boat load of cool stuff around dating and relationships, brain science, hormones and communication. There’s nothing like a lifetime of shitty relationships to drive one to do this, hey!
So that’s what I did.
I’m here to share a few things that I’m discovering about dating and relationship as a smart, savvy, successful woman.
I’m pretty sure that what you are looking for is a very masculine, available and relationshipable (is that a word?) man, right? For you to feel met, matched and adored, then you are going to have to let go of the reins for a bit, let the man lead and learn how to create space, be in your feminine, love your body and invite him toward you.