Step #3 – Polarity
Do you want to know the secret sauce to your success? It is understanding the nature of polarity! Understanding Polarity is about understanding life!
Life is all about pairs of opposites – Hot-Cold, Light-Dark, Doing-Being, Giving-Receiving, Acting-Waiting, In-breath-Out-breath.
Another way to talk about polarity is to understand the nature of Masculine and Feminine.
Now in high school I used to totally love biology classes. Here my teacher would show us films of cell division. Yes, cell division. It showed how when a sperm met an ovum there was magic that would happen as the cell would divide and start this incredibly creative process toward becoming a fetus, then a baby, then a human being.
Now, what I saw was how polarity and life worked.
The sperm and ovum would come together, merge and then divide and pull apart and create this awesome tension and power. Then they were ineluctably pulled back together again to do their dancy ju ju thing again; again the cell would divide, pull apart and separate. Wow! Like wow! This inscribed something super powerful in my consciousness as a young woman.
The power of polarity and it’s role in creating and bringing life and power to things.
Now, the subject of polarity is super important to me. When I went through my bankruptcy and was left with nothing, I found myself facing the reality that I’d done my life until that point from “man-mode” most of the time. Yes, it had afforded me great success. I was paid very well for knowing how to “get s#!t done”, but at what cost? Well, the cost was my health (having ongoing headaches and back pain), my relationships (as I couldn’t find or keep a good one and I kept emasculating my partners), my real success (as I kept hitting an inner glass ceiling of how much money I could make) to my sense of purpose not being lived. Oh, and I really wasn’t loving my life!
I was paid very well for knowing how to “get sh!t done”, but at what cost?
The women who tend to work with me are exhausted and overwhelmed. They have an endless to do list. They are wives, mothers, lovers, corporate executives or business owners….and down down down they spin. More exhaustion, less energy, less desire and they find themselves not really getting the results that they want in business, or in fact in their life.
In short they are stuck in “man-mode” and they are compromising way too much for this. Just like I was. Compromising my health, happiness, relationships and my feminine values.
Now, we all know that the corporate world is largely still stuck in outdated masculine paradigms. And many women, like me, who left the corporate world found ourselves engaging our businesses in the same way. This is all I knew at the time. I knew how to get success from these models.
Models of working the 5 – 7 day week, working harder and harder, pushing harder and harder, compromising your health and relationships, setting goals that delay your life into some uncertain future where the belief is that then you get to live the life and do the things that you want. A belief that then you will have enough money to do what you want and live your purpose!
Boy, is that a mistake!
I didn’t realize that I’d been doing this until I lost everything. I had to ask myself what the cost had been. And I ask you now, what is the cost of continuing in this direction? To your health, to your energy, to your relationships and family, to your kids, your time and actually, to your real prosperity?
Now, this style of working and doing business simply doesn’t work for women’s bodies or energy. We are being put under inordinate amounts of stress (Read: cortisol stress). Rates of adrenal fatigue right now is off the charts for women.
Did you know that there has been a 60% increase of female cancers since the early 1960’s? Breast cancer, uterine and ovarian cancers. And what happened then? Well, the sexual revolution happened. Women entered the workforce. We were wives and mothers up until then…working a 7 day week by they way : ) Then we started the 5 day work week. Now in my weird math, that adds up to a 12 day work week!
First, women need to re-learn about all of the power, beauty and bounty held in their feminine know-how. Did you know that the more you embody your feminine, the more ease, more energy, joy and success you will have?
It is a learning of the art of how and when to be in which polarity in your life and your business. It is a learning of breathing in and breathing out. When to bring step back and watch and wait, and when to act and move.
The art is also in the magic of how to blend and merge the masculine and feminine know-how inside you. Just like the creative power in cell division, you can learn how to do that too.
When you get help to learn how to do this you will create a thriving, nourishing business that grows and thrives and you LOVE, and that loves you back!
When I devised the feminine success formula I fully reworked how businesses were run. I looked at the underlying assumptions that we simply don’t question about things like branding, goal setting, hours and days that are worked or how marketing and sales were done.
I’ve looked at every single aspect of running a business, questioned the assumptions, kept what works and re-designed what will work better…for women, in a woman’s body, values and life.
I consider myself patient zero! I have learned everything from hard won experience and I only teach what has worked for me and what in making my new business thrive!
This year alone I tripled my income in the first 6 months from last years entire revenue! I’m actually motivated to serve, more than to make a bunch of money. And it is because of my drive to serve women to be more successful from their feminine values that my success came online! My purpose in action.
So, after you’ve found your purpose and know your personal brand then make sure that you get helped to understand polarity. It is part of the secret sauce to your success.
Here’s to your juicy feminine successful business!
The next essential step in the 7 Step Feminine Success Formula is that of Prosperity. That is coming up in next weeks blog!
Step #2 – Personal Brand
Personal branding is the practice of you marketing yourself and your career as brands. The personal branding concept suggests that success comes from self-packaging. Personal branding, self-positioning and all individual branding concepts by whatever name, were first introduced in 1937 in the book “Think And Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill.
The term, however, is thought to have been first used and discussed in a 1997 article called “The Brand Called You” by Tom Peters.
“Regardless of age, regardless of position, regardless of the business we happen to be in, all of us need to understand the importance of branding. We are CEOs of our own companies: Me Inc. To be in business today, our most important job is to be head marketer for the brand called You.” ~ Tom Peters
I’ve always loved Tom Peters. I read his book “In Search Of Excellence” when I was a young corporate woman in Australia. His message of excellence is still how I seek to run my businesses and be for my clients.
Personal branding is essentially the ongoing process of establishing who you are, your skills and your strengths and then being very consistent in your delivery of them into the world.
What then, is YOUR Personal Brand?
“A good personal brand combines both strength and warmth.” ~ Ellen Looyen
Ellen Looyen is a global personal branding specialist. In her book “Branded for Life”, she tells a story of two corporate executives and how they came to define their personal brand.
Strength and warmth, a combination of seeming opposites, a divine marriage between things that don’t seem to mix. This could be defined as needing to balance masculine and feminine polarity also. Understanding polarity is so essential when finding your personal brand position.
The need for both strength and warmth is required to give your clients both confidence in you i.e. that you can get the job done, that they can trust your expertise as a coach or mentor, that you will follow through and that you know your sh!t;
And warmth, so that they feel you as human, real, even vulnerable. They want to know that you have trodden this path before them.
“Personal Brands are felt” says Looyen.
Your personal brand needs to be congruent with everything that you are and everything that you do. This is not about making something up, it is about being authentically you, real and playing to your strengths.
How do you do this?
What I found is that I needed guidance and mentoring to help define my personal brand. Why? Because we are inside the mirror. We need other people, especially experts in this field, to help us be reflected back to us, so that we know really who we are, what our strengths are and how to be clear and congruent when we speak on stage, network, write an article, write a blog or build a website.
“The hand holding the awesome brochure better be congruent with its message” Looyen says.
Your Personal brand is your look, your feel, your voice, your behavior, the way your are with people, the way you coach, the way you turn up, the way you lead.
Consistency is the key.
It MUST be driven from inside, a sense of deep alignment with who you really are, what your values are, what you want your legacy to be.
For me, the defining of my personal brand was so key to my message, to how and what I want to teach women. My greatest strengths were hidden to me; not to anybody that knew me well as it was obvious to them, but to me I just couldn’t quite see what they were. I could feel them when I spoke on stage, or coached a client or ran a course, but how to put this into words was not clear to me at all. This is why I employed a coach to help me do that.
The way I show women how to personally brand themselves includes methods that are both straight up getting to know them, their strengths, their feel and the value that they bring; and pretty profound and mysterious!
What we arrive at is your “Feminine Success Avatar” who is revealed as the core, key you, often buried away, hidden deep inside you, aching to be brought to life and given a purpose to express herself in the world.
Once you know this, we puts words around it and what you are about.
Once you know this, your purpose has a very willing body to employ itself with.
Once you know this, all of the inner resources will rise up to meet you to act out your purpose with gusto and fervor.
An effective “Personal Brand” is not a “marketing promise,” it is a track record of demonstrated/sustained excellence.
An effective “Personal Brand” is marked by understatement, not overstatement.
An effective “Personal Brand” is not about solos, it’s about the power of your network.
An effective “Personal Brand” is 10% vision, 90% execution.
An effective “Personal Brand” has mud on her boots.
~ Tom Peters
Here’s to your awesome personal brand!
The next essential step in the 7 Step Feminine Success Formula is that of Polarity. That is coming up in next weeks blog!
I’m going to undergo a series called The 7 Steps To Feminine Success.
Step #1 – What Is Your Purpose?
What is your calling on the planet right now? Our sense of purpose, true purpose is driven from deep inner forces and motivations.
Our real sense of purpose, then, can only be found when other things are stripped away. Things such as beliefs, conditioning and values that are not really ours anymore. Things that we’ve picked up along the way through a childhood immersed in our families values and conditioning, and our social, economic and education background that shaped how we thought.
We went to college to learn to shape our minds, but is this really how you ended up thinking? College should be teaching you HOW to think, not WHAT to think. A learning of HOW to think is a priceless thing that we all need to navigate life from. But if you simply buy into what you are told then you are not creatively thinking or assessing life and decisions around you from a standpoint of awakened awareness.
Questioning the very nature of your mind needs to happen to achieve freedom.
You need to be asking questions like: Do I really believe this or did this come from somebody, something or somewhere else? What do I want, really want? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
Human beings were known by Rudolph Steiner as Homo Angelicus – the human angel, otherwise know as the angels of choice. CHOICE is as essential to the human experience as you can get. This is because with choice comes freedom….the real thing; inner freedom. If we aren’t choosing from an awakened, critical mind, then we are being run by old, outdated programs, that are not serving us anymore. So, if we aren’t actively, critically assessing and choosing our work, our life, our home, our relationships and our prosperity from this position of choice every single day, we are sleeping and not living up to our massive potential.
You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think. The truth is that you are responsible for what you think, because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice. What you do comes from what you think.
– Marianne Williamson
When these things have been stripped away, then we are left way more raw but also alive and awake! It is from here, that our sense of our purpose can really be revealed. It is from here that we can get to the heart of our why;
Why am I am here? What is my purpose?
Once you are at the heart of this, and you are listening to the messages of your intuition, your sense of alignment with life and the universal plan, and if you are ready to listen, then you will have the makings of a foundation for a life that you love, in service of who you want to serve and how this will be the basis of a thriving, nourishing business that will sustain you and your family for a long time.
Sometimes, life will send you circumstances to make you strip down. Inside. This certainly happened to me. Five years ago I was faced with a bankruptcy that completed devastated my life. I was left with everything stripped from me; all of my money, all of my assets, 401K, no house, no car….nothing. And this happened at a time in my life that I had spent 20 years “planning” to be financially free.
I was broke, I was alone, and I didn’t know if I had the will to start again.
So, I went into long term meditation. I’m the kind of person that if I’m going down I’m going to go down down down to the depths to see what is at the bottom and face all of my demons along the way. I am also the kind of person who takes responsibility for my circumstances, however they came about. And that I did.
What I discovered at the bottom, was my purpose.
I became aware that all of my previous success in the corporate world and then in my own companies was built on old paradigms that were built on what I would call masculine ideals and structures at the expense of feminine ones. It became clear that the only way I could or would re-enter the business world was from a discovery of how feminine principles could be applied to business. To discover that there is a totally different way to do business, that is so deeply satisfying, in alignment with ourselves and our values and brings a great contribution to others.
And I KNEW that my purpose was to show other women how to do the same.
Purpose. Emerged through the silence, the depth and the rawness.
It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives
– Marianne Williamson
When we get in touch with our purpose, everything then comes alive inside us.
All of the know-how, the inner resources, the energy and the will power will back you to manifest this into your life. If you don’t feel the latter, then you haven’t found your purpose yet. I’m NOT saying that it will be easy. Life has a way of testing our resolve. But you simply won’t give up because there will be such, deep, intrinsic inner certitude that this is what your purpose it, that nothing will stop you!
And through this process I discovered that every single step of the way of my life had prepared me for this moment, this discovery of what my purpose is, right now. All of the gifts that I bring and all of the mistakes I’ve made make up a series of invaluable gifts that I can pass onto others, which include how to run a thriving business that you really love and how to stop compromising and delaying your life.
Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really: Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, so go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success.”
– Thomas J. Watson
To find your purpose is a process of going in, in in, into the center. In astrology this is represented by the Sun. The Sun is at the center of the solar system. It is the shining center and source of all life, light and energy. You NEED this to be connected to inside yourself, otherwise you will be out of yourself; out of alignment with yourself and the Divine and hence your purpose.
Go in in….Fem IN IN e. You HAVE to go inside and get in touch with your Solar center to find out your PURPOSE. When you find it, then protect it, fiercely, make a home there, a business there, a life there full of it’s joy, enthusiasm and LIFE!
As women, our need to create is as intrinsic as this body that we are in. We birth babies for god’s sake! We are in touch with this profound energy of creation and creativity. This is in every women. Each iteration of this is as unique as each woman on the planet. We can also birth businesses from this same place inside us, with as much love, care, longevity and attention as we’d give a child.
I’ll leave you with these questions:
What are YOUR values?
Who are you, really?
What is your purpose on the planet right now?
Are you ready to come out of hiding and reveal your hidden gifts?
Are you prepared to think big, beyond yourself and serve in a big way?
The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.
The next essential step in the 7 Step Feminine Success System is that of Personal Brand. That is coming up in next weeks blog!
The biggest challenge many professional women have today is that they are overwhelmed, exhausted and they feel sexually blocked or locked down. They wear too many hats and they are juggling too many balls.
They are mothers, wives, lovers, business owners, corporate executives…and down they spin, more exhausted, less energy, less desire. And they are not getting the results that they want in their work or their relationships and worst of all, they are not living their life purpose.
What is happening here? How did this happen? How did we women who were supposed to be “emancipated” by the sexual revolution of the 60’s end up like this?
I don’t think that this is what we expected to happen, that “equality” would lead to exhaustion and shut down on so many levels.
It’s been my observation after 20 years of doing self development work with professional women that they have become so exhausted and sexually locked down because they are stuck in what I call “masculine-mode”. They either don’t realize this, or don’t know what it really feels like to be in their feminine power any more or indeed, how to swing the pendulum back in that direction when they want to.
At the very least it leads to exhaustion and sexual lock down. At its worst, uterine cancer, ovarian cysts, vaginal prolapse, just to name a few of the “female” diseases that are reaching epidemic proportions in our lives today.
We all have masculine and feminine forces inside of us.
When I speak of masculine-feminine I’m not referring to male-female nor man-woman.
I’m speaking of inner forces.
e.g. masculine forces are that of movement, action, doing, competition, analytical, rational, linear, objective. Feminine forces are that of receiving, holding, spreading, flow, creative, intuition and community. Yes, there is a lot more to this, and when I teach the Feminine Success Programs I speak about the difference between true and false masculine as well as true and false feminine….and they are very different. But let’s leave these generalizations on the table for now.
We are seeking balance. We are all seeking balance. However, balance in a female body needs to be dialed more toward the feminine part of the spectrum than the masculine, and for so many professional women who get “stuck” in masculine-mode they don’t know how to get off the hamster wheel.
They come home at night and can barely make a meal for their family and then they want to fall into bed…..to sleep! not to have sex or enjoy intimacy with their partner. This is because they are so exhausted….and down they spin, into another day where there is no space, no out breath, no time!
A female body is designed for receptivity, for space and out-breath. Just look at the different between male and female genitals. Men are built for driving and moving forward (penis!) and we are built for receiving (a vagina!). Hmmmm, this is so obvious and yet we keep behaving like we have a penis!
Men have 30 times more testosterone than women. They are literally designed to be put under stress (read: flooded with cortisol). It’s works for them, to an extent. But women are built for pleasure, to be flooded with oxytocin, amongst other pleasure enhancing hormones.
So, if you are not walking around feeling pleasure, joy and sexiness in your body, your are unplugged from your feminine. You can actually feel this ALL OF THE TIME. Believe me, I do! Yes, all of the time. And you can too.
Now, this doesn’t mean that women can’t DO what men can do, but it puts into question whether you WANT to do things the way men and the predominantly masculine paradigms of our world want you to DO them. Is it worth continuing to do things this way to the detriment of your health, your relationships, your sexuality and, truthfully your real success?
What if there was another way?
What if by being in your true feminine power you could actually be MORE successful and crack through your glass ceiling? What if being in your feminine you found yourself turned-on again, plugged back into your juicy feminine innate power and your relationships turned around?
Well, all of this is not just possible, but it is what is required for you to find and live your calling, your mission and live your purpose.
I’m here to say that the outdated masculine paradigms, like and old pair of shoes, must be thrown out to make space for new ways of living, having relationships and being in true alignment such that you can have the type of thriving business that you seek. That you can serve who you want to and having a totally joyful, uplifting, and thriving business in the process.
It is time, it is time, to challenge the unconscious ways that we have been taught to live and work in as female corporate executives and entrepreneurs.
It is time to wake up, and realize that you have an untapped GOLD MINE in your very own body and once you uncover it, it will not only give you immense pleasure, unlimited energy and satisfaction, but the life and success that you really want.
Isn’t it time to get off the hamster wheel, design your own life and live and serve from the fullness of yourself, rather than depletion and constant struggle?
Ask yourself, isn’t it time?
This is your time!
If you want to learn more please go to:
I have observed people all of my life.
It is a joy and obsession of mine to do this.
One of the things that has become apparent to me is the loss of sexual polarity between men and women. This has created so much distress between us. This gender neutralizing has not brought equality, unity and gain, but confusion, dissonance and loss.
I consider myself part of a sexual revolution, a renewal of this polarity. My view is that when men are allowed to really be the masculine force and women are allowed to reveal the feminine, receptive power again, then much strife and confusion will abate from our world.
I see that it will bring peace and joy to us all. A renewal of what life, sexuality and even our spiritual practice can be.