Feminine Leadership

Feminine Leadership

I have been reflecting a lot on feminine leadership and what that means, and one of the things that I’ve realized is that it is different for each of us.

We need to find that in, of and for ourselves.

One thing that keeps landing for me, is that part of my form of feminine leadership comes with complete transparency.

What that looks like is that I will be sharing my life with you, my wins, my falls, my vulnerability and my vision.   It’s the only way I can move forward from a life where my I liked to hide a lot, pretend that I was infallible and invulnerable, that I was perfect and that I had it all worked out.

What it feels like inside me, is coming out from lifetimes of hiding;  hiding my power, hiding my care, hiding my successes and my failures, hiding my vision and worst of all hiding my immense Love.

It’s time, it’s time, to come out from hiding, live my life out loud, unabashed, uninhibited and unbridled.

It’s time, it’s time.

So here goes….you are going to get me warts and all from hereon.

Masculine Default Mode

Masculine Default Mode

Argghhh, I’m outing myself.   The last two weeks have been soooo busy, with a lot of work with my beloved clients, three speaking gigs and assisting at my friends 3 day event last weekend.

What did I do?  

I defaulted to my masculine;  my doing, mission oriented habits.

Under stress I tend to do this.   I’m not proud of this.   This has been where I believe that I can be “strong” for others, and “get a lot done”,  “I’ll get back to you later”, and “I’ll play when this is over!”

Well actually where it left me was totally spent, exhausted, disconnected and a useless blob on the floor for a few days.  I was assisting at a 3 day event with 250 people in the room and I know that because I was in man-mode, I made zero new connections for my business.   I felt out of integrity.   I love serving,  but was serving my friends from my masculine.   And I was sooooo wanting to connect to people, I just “thought” that I needed to put myself aside and “do” my tasks.

This is not what I want for me, or for my women.

One thing that I do know is that because I’ve made such a strong commitment to the feminine, is that when I swing too hard to the masculine polarity, my body and soul rejects the old paradigm.

My body will rebel, my soul will ache.

The feminine is all about relationships, relating, lubricating the space, holding space, laughing, loving and playing.

To become a Queen, a true Queen, you are a serious player.   But let’s dissect this a bit…a serious player!  Not playing seriously.  This is our man-modes interpretation of that.

Play, joy, lightness, dance, movement, elevation, roaring, screaming, smelling, receiving.…this is your Queen in life, in action.  Loving her body, flowing with life, feeling and hence bringing joy and light to everyone that we touch.

So, I’ve decided to take “work” out of my vocabulary.   I’ve replaced it with “play”.

Now I have so much “play” to do today!

Play with me ladies.   We have a world to change.  Let’s play soft instead of work hard and bring so much love, hope and joy with our attitude that life will simply provide for us everything that we need.

The Tao of Sex

The Tao of Sex

Ancient Tao

Having been a dancer, lover and spiritual seeker all of my life, I have been fascinated with the relationship between the spirit and the body.  My experiences when I dance or make love have shown me a level of ecstacy that I can also experience in deep meditation states, however, I get to share them with others during sex or when dancing.

The Tao of Sexology has a particular view of this.

Taoists discovered that the sexual glands were endowed with God’s power to create and God’s intelligence to organize life. In fact they knew that God was the life force that animated all living things, the motor of creative processes, and the intelligence responsible for life engineering and cellular self-repair.

They also knew that the sexual glands could be used as a source of life force for their own bodies.  Taoists hoped to elevate self-healing to its fullest potential, to energize the whole body to defy time. 

In Taoism the sexual organs and glands, where energy and life power are concentrated and generated, are referred to as the “stove.” This term underscores our dependence on sexual energy. We depend on the sexual energy to support our mental and physical functions as we depend on the stove to cook food. Without a stove, nothing can be cooked or eaten and life will end. Likewise, life will end when dysfunctional sexual energy cause the mental and physical aspects of the body to become dysfunctional.

When the mental and physical aspects of the body become tired, depressed, or negative, more problems or diseases arise. Then the aging process begins. All of these problems can be prevented or corrected by properly functioning sexual energy.

When the machinery of rejuvenation is activated through the practice of Taoist Sexology, aging can be prevented. And when aging is prevented, death is prevented. The age-old search for the fountain of youth may end here, for Taoists believe that immortality can be attained by transforming the physical body through continuous rejuvenation; in other words through a continual engagement and active cultivation of the sexual energy.

Not only is the Tao of Sexology a fountain of youth, but it also is a refreshing solution that reconciles the common dilemma between one’s sexual desires and devotion to one’s spiritual aspirations.

Stifling of sexual desires leaves people unsatisfied, for we are not bodiless spirits as long as we live on earth. Neither approach satisfies people’s needs, because human beings have both physical instincts and spiritual aspirations.

What is a Taoist? Anyone who has a desire to live longer, happier, healthier, and wiser is a Taoist. Anyone who seeks and practices something in order to achieve these goals is a Taoist. And active Taoists can have an experience of life that is full, enriched and powerful.

“There’s no use for artificial discipline. For, move as I will, I will manifest the ancient Tao” ~ Master Hsiang-yen


When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men –  And how the stereotype flipped.

When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – And how the stereotype flipped.

The idea that men are naturally more interested in sex than women is so ubiquitous that it’s difficult to imagine that people ever believed differently. And yet for most of Western history, from ancient Greece to beginning of the nineteenth century, women were assumed to be the sex-crazed porn fiends of their day. In one ancient Greek myth,  Zeus and Hera argue about whether men or women enjoy sex more. They ask the prophet Tiresias, whom Hera had once transformed into a woman, to settle the debate. He answers, “if sexual pleasure were divided into ten parts, only one part would go to the man, and and nine parts to the woman.” Later, women were considered to be temptresses who inherited their treachery from Eve. Their sexual passion was seen as a sign of their inferior morality, reason and intellect, and justified tight control by husbands and fathers. Men, who were not so consumed with lust and who had superior abilities of self-control, were the gender more naturally suited to holding positions of power and influence. 

Alyssa Goldstein

See whole article: http://www.alternet.org/when-women-wanted-sex-much-more-men


Wish Your Sex Life Was Better?

Wish Your Sex Life Was Better?

Most people desire a fulfilling sexual life and that many do not prioritize it or talk about it. Therefore, I encourage you to do the following:

  1. Write down the issues that are preventing you from having the sexual life you want. Then write down a plan for how to address and resolve those issues. (For example, talk with your doctor about your medication side effects, hit the gym to feel more sexy, get in couples’ therapy about your relationship issues, get in individual therapy about your addiction to porn, etc.)
  2. Connect with your body through exercise and mindfulness techniques to increase body awareness. Take care of yourself so you feel desirable and confident.
  3. Quiet your mind chatter via meditation and ask the deeper self within what you desire sexually. Notice any negative thoughts that induce guilt or shame, breathe them out and let them go. Replace them with a mantra such as, “I am a sexual being and deserve a healthy sexual life.”
  4. Find your voice and talk with you partner(s) about your sexual feelings, needs and desires. Be open and honest. Use “I” statements, rather than “you” statements to decrease defensiveness “I desire more oral sex” versus “You never go down on me.” Like in parenting and management, you need to give three positive statements for every piece of negative feedback (“I love when you do this, this and this, but am not really loving that…”)
  5. Care enough about yourself to nurture and tend to your sexual life. Like most things in life worth having, achieving your best and healthiest sexual self requires attention and effort.

Because everything is interconnected, you will find that when you awaken your sexual self, you will tap into powerful life energy that will inspire the rest of your life to blossom. 

Couple in Bed



Being Naked.

Being Naked.

Being naked in a world where vulnerability is downgraded to weakness and timidity.

Being naked in a world where we fear laying bare our hearts,  speaking our truth.

Being naked in a time where thick skin is applauded and bareness is made repulsive.

Being naked; turn up toward all of the gods and own that feeling, leading back to our sense of union.

No shame; only Truth will set us free.

~Candice Oneida



“What is the body?  That shadow of a shadow of your love, that somehow contains the entire universe.”


~ Rumi