Have you ever thought about what is stopping you from getting what you want?
Have you ever thought about what is stopping you from getting what you want…. with men?
I hear you sister, as I experienced this first hand, and I can tell you that this block comes down to two little words:
Man
Mode
Now, I want you to know that it is not your fault that you are operating through a masculine lens.
We have been trained to think and act from this mode by society, and as you probably already know, it does not work out well when it comes to our relationships with men.
For many women, the constant energy outpouring of pushing and striving, leads to, (if I can be totally honest with you? ) repelling masculine men.
Here’s how it goes:
When we look at the masculine-feminine spectrum, we have to keep in mind that the two are residing on the two opposite ends of life.
Although they are on different ends, they have a magnetizing pull towards each other.
And for this reason
As a woman, you must flow and go through your life in your feminine orientation to attract a strong masculine presence.
After all, polarities do attract!
Men crave and desire fully feminine women to balance out their masculinity.
When you learn to master the glide and slide between your masculine and your feminine self, accordingly, mighty masculine men will naturally want to bask in your feminine essence.
To dive into this week’s deep lesson on how being too masculine is stopping you from getting what you want with men, click the video link below:
Feminine power has some core elements to it that include softness and opening and I’ve made a video this week covering these aspects of what it takes be more feminine, feel your power and unlock your energy!
Nate Bagley…used his life savings to tour the country and interview couples in happy, long-term relationships.
“I’ve interviewed gay couples, straight couples, rich couples, poor couples, religious couples, atheist couples, couples who have been together for a short time, and couples who have been together for over 70 years, I’ve even interviewed couples in arranged marriages and polygamous couples.”
On the key things that make a relationship successful:
“This was actually one of the most surprising things I learned on the journey.
Self Love: The happiest couples always consisted of two (sometimes more) emotionally healthy and independently happy individuals. These people practiced self-love. They treated themselves with the same type of care that they treated their partner… or at least they tried to.
Emotionally healthy people know how to forgive, they are able to acknowledge their part in any disagreement or conflict and take responsibility for it. They are self-aware enough to be assertive, to pull their weight, and to give love when it’s most difficult.
Commitment: After that emotional health came an unquestioning level of commitment. The happiest couples knew that if shit got real, their significant other wasn’t going to walk out on them. They knew that even if things got hard – no, especially if things got hard — they were better off together. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole.
Trust: Happy couples trust each other… and they have earned each others’ trust. They don’t worry about the other person trying to undermine them or sabotage them, because they’ve proven over and over again that they are each other’s biggest advocate. That trust is built through actions, not words. It’s day after day after day of fidelity, service, emotional security, reliability.
Establish that foundation, and you’re in good shape.
Intentionality: This is the icing on the cake. There’s a difference between the couple who drives through the rainstorm and the couple who pulls their car to the side of the road to make out in the rain. (Yes, that’s a true story.) There’s a difference between the couple who kisses for 10 seconds or longer when they say goodbye to each other rather than just giving each other a peck… or nothing at all. There’s a difference between the couples who encourage each other to pursue their personal goals at the expense of their own discomfort or inconvenience… even if it means their partner has to stage kiss another woman.
Most people desire a fulfilling sexual life and that many do not prioritize it or talk about it. Therefore, I encourage you to do the following:
Write down the issues that are preventing you from having the sexual life you want. Then write down a plan for how to address and resolve those issues. (For example, talk with your doctor about your medication side effects, hit the gym to feel more sexy, get in couples’ therapy about your relationship issues, get in individual therapy about your addiction to porn, etc.)
Connect with your body through exercise and mindfulness techniques to increase body awareness. Take care of yourself so you feel desirable and confident.
Quiet your mind chatter via meditation and ask the deeper self within what you desire sexually. Notice any negative thoughts that induce guilt or shame, breathe them out and let them go. Replace them with a mantra such as, “I am a sexual being and deserve a healthy sexual life.”
Find your voice and talk with you partner(s) about your sexual feelings, needs and desires. Be open and honest. Use “I” statements, rather than “you” statements to decrease defensiveness “I desire more oral sex” versus “You never go down on me.” Like in parenting and management, you need to give three positive statements for every piece of negative feedback (“I love when you do this, this and this, but am not really loving that…”)
Care enough about yourself to nurture and tend to your sexual life. Like most things in life worth having, achieving your best and healthiest sexual self requires attention and effort.
Because everything is interconnected, you will find that when you awaken your sexual self, you will tap into powerful life energy that will inspire the rest of your life to blossom.
“…walk into the fire of my worst fears – vulnerability, trust, co-creation and potential abandonment and loss.
In Tantric philosophy, as in many spiritual paths, the masculine and feminine are in a dance together; both are required and both are powerful. In fact, the masculine requires the feminine to become whole and activated and the feminine requires the masculine to take form within. The feminine is a powerful life force.”
