Didn’t love the feminine (in fact had serious issues with it!)
That I funded (because I made more money)
Blamed me for everything (didn’t own their stuff)
Sex didn’t really work (due to a lack of sexual polarity)
So, being who I am, I had to take a long hard look inside myself to see what it was about me that was attracting this kind of man. I realized that it was largely due to me being swung too hard into my own masculine and not enough in my feminine.
This my dear is how we emasculate men!
This, in addition to my realization 8 years ago that I had also run my companies for the last 25 years from my masculine is what led me to research what feminine power is and how to get more of it! As part of this I’ve been studying relationship and dating for the last 4+ years.
I don’t claim to be a relationship expert…but I am an ongoing and avid researcher and teacher about feminine power, and the feminine is all about relationship.
I’ve discovered a boat load of cool stuff around dating and relationships, brain science, hormones and communication. There’s nothing like a lifetime of shitty relationships to drive one to do this, hey!
So that’s what I did.
I’m here to share a few things that I’m discovering about dating and relationship as a smart, savvy, successful woman.
I’m pretty sure that what you are looking for is a very masculine, available and relationshipable (is that a word?) man, right? For you to feel met, matched and adored, then you are going to have to let go of the reins for a bit, let the man lead and learn how to create space, be in your feminine, love your body and invite him toward you.
Do you want to know the secret sauce to your success? It is understanding the nature of polarity! Understanding Polarity is about understanding life!
Life is all about pairs of opposites – Hot-Cold, Light-Dark, Doing-Being, Giving-Receiving, Acting-Waiting, In-breath-Out-breath.
Another way to talk about polarity is to understand the nature of Masculine and Feminine.
Now in high school I used to totally love biology classes. Here my teacher would show us films of cell division. Yes, cell division. It showed how when a sperm met an ovum there was magic that would happen as the cell would divide and start this incredibly creative process toward becoming a fetus, then a baby, then a human being.
Now, what I saw was how polarity and life worked.
The sperm and ovum would come together, merge and then divide and pull apart and create this awesome tension and power. Then they were ineluctably pulled back together again to do their dancy ju ju thing again; again the cell would divide, pull apart and separate. Wow! Like wow! This inscribed something super powerful in my consciousness as a young woman.
The power of polarity and it’s role in creating and bringing life and power to things.
Now, the subject of polarity is super important to me. When I went through my bankruptcy and was left with nothing, I found myself facing the reality that I’d done my life until that point from “man-mode” most of the time. Yes, it had afforded me great success. I was paid very well for knowing how to “get s#!t done”, but at what cost? Well, the cost was my health (having ongoing headaches and back pain), my relationships (as I couldn’t find or keep a good one and I kept emasculating my partners), my real success (as I kept hitting an inner glass ceiling of how much money I could make) to my sense of purpose not being lived. Oh, and I really wasn’t loving my life!
I was paid very well for knowing how to “get sh!t done”, but at what cost?
The women who tend to work with me are exhausted and overwhelmed. They have an endless to do list. They are wives, mothers, lovers, corporate executives or business owners….and down down down they spin. More exhaustion, less energy, less desire and they find themselves not really getting the results that they want in business, or in fact in their life.
In short they are stuck in “man-mode” and they are compromising way too much for this. Just like I was. Compromising my health, happiness, relationships and my feminine values.
Now, we all know that the corporate world is largely still stuck in outdated masculine paradigms. And many women, like me, who left the corporate world found ourselves engaging our businesses in the same way. This is all I knew at the time. I knew how to get success from these models.
Models of working the 5 – 7 day week, working harder and harder, pushing harder and harder, compromising your health and relationships, setting goals that delay your life into some uncertain future where the belief is that then you get to live the life and do the things that you want. A belief that then you will have enough money to do what you want and live your purpose!
Boy, is that a mistake!
I didn’t realize that I’d been doing this until I lost everything. I had to ask myself what the cost had been. And I ask you now, what is the cost of continuing in this direction? To your health, to your energy, to your relationships and family, to your kids, your time and actually, to your real prosperity?
Now, this style of working and doing business simply doesn’t work for women’s bodies or energy. We are being put under inordinate amounts of stress (Read: cortisol stress). Rates of adrenal fatigue right now is off the charts for women.
Did you know that there has been a 60% increase of female cancers since the early 1960’s? Breast cancer, uterine and ovarian cancers. And what happened then? Well, the sexual revolution happened. Women entered the workforce. We were wives and mothers up until then…working a 7 day week by they way : ) Then we started the 5 day work week. Now in my weird math, that adds up to a 12 day work week!
First, women need to re-learn about all of the power, beauty and bounty held in their feminine know-how. Did you know that the more you embody your feminine, the more ease, more energy, joy and success you will have?
It is a learning of the art of how and when to be in which polarity in your life and your business. It is a learning of breathing in and breathing out. When to bring step back and watch and wait, and when to act and move.
The art is also in the magic of how to blend and merge the masculine and feminine know-how inside you. Just like the creative power in cell division, you can learn how to do that too.
When you get help to learn how to do this you will create a thriving, nourishing business that grows and thrives and you LOVE, and that loves you back!
When I devised the feminine success formula I fully reworked how businesses were run. I looked at the underlying assumptions that we simply don’t question about things like branding, goal setting, hours and days that are worked or how marketing and sales were done.
I’ve looked at every single aspect of running a business, questioned the assumptions, kept what works and re-designed what will work better…for women, in a woman’s body, values and life.
I consider myself patient zero! I have learned everything from hard won experience and I only teach what has worked for me and what in making my new business thrive!
This year alone I tripled my income in the first 6 months from last years entire revenue! I’m actually motivated to serve, more than to make a bunch of money. And it is because of my drive to serve women to be more successful from their feminine values that my success came online! My purpose in action.
So, after you’ve found your purpose and know your personal brand then make sure that you get helped to understand polarity. It is part of the secret sauce to your success.
Here’s to your juicy feminine successful business!
The next essential step in the 7 Step Feminine Success Formula is that ofProsperity. That is coming up in next weeks blog!
One of the things that has become apparent to me is the loss of sexual polarity between men and women. This has created so much distress between us. This gender neutralizing has not brought equality, unity and gain, but confusion, dissonance and loss.
I consider myself part of a sexual revolution, a renewal of this polarity. My view is that when men are allowed to really be the masculine force and women are allowed to reveal the feminine, receptive power again, then much strife and confusion will abate from our world.
I see that it will bring peace and joy to us all. A renewal of what life, sexuality and even our spiritual practice can be.