I’m writing after a 4 month adventure and apologize for a long absence from talking to you.
The truth is, that it all began with making the cardinal mistake for a new business owner…overextending my expenses. —-> Click here to find out more about my path of surrender
My business last year started up very quickly and very successfully, and I, believed the gods were “on my side” and the momentum was only going to continue to grow. And so, I took on an expensive apartment that, on paper, made sense. I could live there, work from there, it was a great space for a video studio and I could see my clients there. It added up on paper, but the truth is, I bit of more than I could chew and couldn’t for-see other factors moving forward, such as, getting quite sick from the EMF frequencies from a very nearby cellphone tower. This lead to momentum having to slow down and I didn’t have the energy to do what I had started doing. The only way I could move forward was going back into man-mode or surrendering the apartment.
Surrendering was what I chose.
Despite this, what it lead to was a 4 month adventure, that until now, I wasn’t ready to share with you.
It started when I decided to get out of the apartment and sub-let it. It wasn’t until literally the last day of October, that my sub-tenant flew in from China and wrote me a check for the 4 month sub-let. Until that morning, I didn’t have the rent to cover the next month, and I had no certainty that he would take the apartment.
I was pushed to surrender, finally. It is something that I’ve researched, aspired to, wanted deeply for 20 years, but I really never had any role models to show me HOW to do it.
So, life made me finally let go of a lifetime of resentments, hurts and pain. I let go of not trusting life to take care of me. I let go of the automatic return to “man-mode” that I would tend to do, to “take care of business” because life, apparently, wasn’t doing that for me.
What my last 4 month “Surrender Experiment” has taught me, so far, has been phenomenal. In that time, I have lived completely rent-free at the grace of friends, clients and new friends homes. I taught a 3 day training in a dear friends home in San Diego; I spent 6 weeks on a ranch in San Luis Obisbo in which I took care of the animals and the old man, but spent every few days at a natural hot springs and the opportunity to deeply recover my health; I was lead to what is my new home, via a craigslist post for house sitting, back in the Bay Area at unbelievably low rent for a gorgeous house in Oakland; I am meeting gorgeous masculine men in my dating forays; My youtube channel is building and clients are flocking to me from all over the world to do discovery sessions with me from my videos on there.
And, boy, what a relief, to finally let go, to trust life and to *really* be in my feminine orientation. So much tension has left my body, so much joy and grace is offered to me on a daily basis.
Surrender is so deeply essential to feminine power and so deeply misunderstood. Which is why I created a video about surrender whilst whilst I was in my car driving to a recent meditation intensive.
Click on the video below to see what I have to say about what surrender really is and how to do it. Enjoy and I’d love you to leave a comment!
Goal setting for me is about the magic of feeling both powerful in taking action and letting go and surrendering to the process, time and the Divine plan for me.
It doesn’t seem possible for those concepts to inhabit the same space. This is why I LOVE goal setting.
It’s the magical marriage of the masculine and the feminine!
When I get in my car to drive to a restaurant I first work out which restaurant I want to go to; I look it up, research it, feel into it, know that my belly and my body really wants that food and that experience; I then pop it into my GPS, jump in my car and know where I’m heading.
Sometimes en-route to the restaurant, my GPS needs to deviate it’s initial pathway because of road works or traffic; sometimes…sometimes, I am inspired to change the restaurant en-route!
If I got in my car with no destination in mind, then I’d be driving around aimlessly, using up fuel, wasting time, energy and it would feel pretty pointless. I could end up at an interesting destination by doing this, but without at least knowing what type of food or experience I am wanting, my needs are unlikely to get met.
Goal setting in a nutshell.
Knowing what your desires, wants and needs are is the first stage of goal setting.
This is done by diving deep deep inside yourself to feel into what you really want in your day, your year, your business, your relationships, your life.
I like to do this thing that I call “back-casting”. Think of what forecasting is, but I do it in reverse. I envision my 10 years goals first. Feel into how I want to feel in my life, then the imagery comes, the details, the people, places, yumminess and success of my life and business emerges.
After this has been done fully and with all of the juicy focus I can muster, I do 5 year goals…in the same focused, engaged, visceral way.
From this, one year goals emerge clearly and they are en-route to the 10 year goals. But these ones are really important because they are the ones that are closest and on the road in front of you to take action on or wait for guidance from your GPS – or what I call the God Positioning System!
I then turn it all over to the GPSto plan the way, the route and any deviations that it has for me, my tribe and my life.
Goal setting gives me both power and surrender. The masculine and the feminine.
My honest to goodness best ever focus and efficiency tip for success in your business is so super simple!
Schedule your day the night before!
Yep, it’s that simple.
Look at tomorrows calendar, see what of your time blocks and commitments are already in place for that day (if you don’t know what time blocks are I’ll do a post on that soon – but check this out in the meantime). You then decide on exactly what tasks (TO-DO’s) you can realistically do for the day.
On the day
…You follow the plan that you outlined the night before.
This will save you so much totally avoidable stress!
What do you do if you have interruptions or plan changes?
Well, you simply schedule it for the next day or the next logical time block.
The art of Performance in a feminine based business is commanding time rather than it commanding you.
I disappeared for a while as I decided to move out of my apartment due to toxic EMF (Electro Magnetic Frequency) effects on my health. (Cellphone tower only 60ft from my apartment…)
So, I’m now travelling around the Southwest of the USA and spending time with clients and friends. It’s funny because it is really making me run my business in a super fluid, feminine way, not having a routine or normal structure to rest on in my home/office.
And I’m having such a blast with the women that I’m staying with. Such sweetness, feminine hospitality and fun we are having!
It has certainly given me pause to look back on 2015 and view it from a different vantage point.
What do you see when you look back at your 2015?
Have you got the level of success that you planned for?
Did you plan at all, really?
What do you need to improve on?
Are you living on purpose?
What is the single biggest challenge you are having in your business that you’d like solved right now?
Well, here I am sitting in Austin, TX at Zhi Tea which I started with it’s Co-Founder in 2007 feeling so much gratitude for my clients, my friends, my new business associates and emerging JV partnerships.
2015 has been a whirlwind year of starting up a new phase of my business, Feminine Success, landing in the Bay Area and starting two new programs.
I did close to 50 talks this year to over 1800 women and I’ve been working with some of the worlds top coaches and mentors and engaging the best clients of my life, who I totally love and adore working with.
In short I’m creating my dream life and dream business.
Yes, I could focus on the problems, the strains, the difficulties I’ve had, the “it never rains, but it pours” sporadic nature of a new business. I could focus on the times of fear that crept in, the uncertainty, the mistakes that I’ve made….and there were plenty!
But I choose to focus on gratitude, love, joy and potential. The great things simply outweigh the negatives. It has certainly felt like a birthing process! My new baby, Feminine Success llc, has been born.
She may be small, vulnerable and dependent still, but she is beautiful and I love her very much and what she can do to impact the world. My vision for her, like a parents vision for their child is one of only the greatest and fullest possibility.
How can you make 2016 the best year ever?
To help you with that, I’d love to ask you this question?
What is the single biggest challenge you are having in your business that you’d like solved right now?
Respond below with your answer to this question. I’d love to help you answer that.
This step is all about your product or service and how to market and sell them!
So, what is it that you are offering your peeps? Is it your time as a practitioner or therapist? Is it a membership site that you fill with all sorts of great content? Is it a great workshop or retreat? Is it a product or a bunch of products? Is it a mixture of all of the above?
Now, we need to go back to the Purpose step to see who your peeps are and in which environment you most want to be with them. Remember when I asked the question “What is the juiciest environment in which you’d LOVE to work?” Simple, but super essential and powerful step.
If you can dream it, you can do it
~ Walt Disney
Once you’ve worked this out (Through knowing your Purpose and your People) then we have to talk about what you are going to do with them.
One key is to find out from them what they want to know about, what their main pain points are in their life and how they like to learn. Another key is what do YOU like to do. How do you most enjoy sharing your awesome gifts with your people? Simple enough.
What if I told you that you can do pretty much anything with them. Yep, do exactly what you want, in the way that you want, with the people that you want to work with!
Here are a few ways you can market to and find your people:
Speaking: One of my personal favorites. I LOVE speaking whether at a conference, a meetup or a small gig nearby. I just love having my ultimate peeps in a room and inspiring them that their life can be better and their problems can be solved with my formulas and systems.
Retreats/Workshops: This is probably my favorite way to teach and coach people. I love the intimacy, the intensity and the level of transformation that it brings. You can conduct 2 – 10 day workshops anywhere in the country and the world!
1:1 Sessions: I’ve done this for the last 17 years and I love the intimacy of private client sessions and how I can laser focus in one just one person at a time.
Membership Site: Great way to deliver content in pretty much any form you like. Videos, Audio, Pdfs, Manuals.
I have a dear friend and peer who teaches women about the feminine nature of money. She only likes to teach women in small groups of under twenty, and do it in the redwoods on retreat. Pretty specific huh? This is uniquely HER way of doing things. She feels at her best there and that she can give the most to them there.
I think we’re having fun. I think our customers really like our products. And we’re always trying to do better.
~ Steve Jobs
One last tip: People buy results. You need to be super clear on the results that you will provide them. Clear on the results in the way you write on your website and in your marketing materials and in the way you speak. Be clear and consistent. A great way to show your results in via a system or formula.
Essentially your “product” is an opportunity for a truly creative expression of who you are and how you love to do things.
In fact the more differentiated you are, the more you are tightly niched, the more successful you will be.
Don’t feel like you have to do it in a way that anybody has done in the past. This is your business; imitate if you want; innovate if you want. Remember this is the time of the personal brandand you are a truly unique personal brand!
This is the last step in the 7 Step Feminine Success Formula!
Here’s to your juicy feminine successful business!
This is probably when you want to tune out of the 7 Steps to Feminine Success! Performance sounds *very* dull!
But, what if you knew how to structure yourself for success?
What if you knew how to get time back and time work for you?
What if you knew how to create containers that structure your goals, you to-do’s AND self-care?
What if goal setting was made really easy?
What if you could become more successful by working 12 days…….per month!
In my world, these are the essence of how to get to high performance in your feminine business.
Getting to high performance in a feminine-based business requires 3 things. You need to understand:
I had a mentor once who totally re-framed my thinking around time in my business. She made me realize that I had been viewing time in a limited and linear way, and that because of this I was actually LESS efficient than if I understood that I could decide how much I want to work, how many hours, how many days/week or month and that by me deciding how I was going to structure my time, I was going to be more efficient and more successful.
…and part of this is planning your self-care and pleasure time!
Well I ran with this idea and am currently working a 16 day/month business working model…and I tripled my income in the first 6 months of this year! How does that sound to you? Exciting…. crazy….impossible? This has lead me to greater (financial) success and it is certainly helping keeping my energy levels high too.
As I consider myself patient zero, I have tested everything on myself and my business first before I pass it onto you!
I love showing women how to take back time and with that, take back their energy and love what they are doing in the process.
I asked a dear 20 year long friend a while ago, “What am I good at?”, and his response was, “You are great at getting S#!T done whilst still loving your life!”. We proceeded to sit together recording our conversation for a few hours whilst we drilled down into HOW I get S#!T done. Once of the key pieces that came out of this time was that I love creating containers within which to structure my day, my week and my month. I view “containers” as the canvass upon which you create your business. Containers not so much as to restrict you, but to direct you forward.
Containers create the boundaries for the river to flow forward in a clear direction.
I like to say: “Within Structure, Creativity can flow.”
I also love goal setting. Why? Because I have this super simple method that I do every month and once a year as I assess where my business is at as I look at what needs to come next. Goal setting is AN aspect of understanding the relationship to time. I LOVE discussions around time, so let’s start here.
I do goal setting as monthly forecast.
My marketing goals example looks like this:
How much gross revenue do I want to achieve?
How many speaking engagements do I want?
How many networking opportunities do I want to attend?
How many new clients in my program/s do I want?
How many conversations (calls or meetings) do I need to have?
Now, yours may look different to this depending on your niche.
The essence of this, is keep it really simple! But there are a few more secret squirrel steps to make this really work.
Without having goals in place or understanding the way you can learn to flow and flex time, but then expecting tangible results from your business is a bit like what a coach of mine calls “Hope marketing”. Agh, hope is one of those things that is such an important things for the human spirit, but when it comes to your business, “hoping” that you’ll get your work done, and hoping clients will find you, or hoping that you’ll someday get through that TO-DO list or hoping that promoters knock down their doors to have you speak…well just isn’t going to work.
“You don’t need to be a genius or a visionary, or even a college graduate for that matter, to be successful. You just need framework and a dream.”
~ Michael Dell, CEO of DELL
Quantum Physics shows us today, right now that time is NOT what we think it is, and in a feminine-based business getting away from (the belief) of linear time is essential.
To illustrate , let’s try this:
Think of a time when time really dragged…you kept looking at your watch thinking an hour went by….and it progressed only 5 minutes! You were probably bored, or sad, or feeling small or stuck…right!
Now, think of a time when time just FLEW by…it was probably a time when you were totally in the zone and LOVINGevery minute of what you were doing. You felt alive, unbounded, enthusiastic and full of wonder….right!
What about if you could reverse engineer this process. By doing what you LOVE doing, working with who you LOVE to work with, being around people you LOVE and adore…time will bend!
Another thing I love to do is look at timelines with my clients. Basically what this means is casting forward from now and plunging down their timeline to see which is the best direction in which to move….but this is a topic for a whole article and is key to how I work with my clients when they are making key decisions in their business.
Where Time and Flow combine is at the very core and essence of a model of feminine success!
Here’s to your juicy feminine successful business!
The last step in the 7 Step Feminine Success Formula is that of Product.