Do any of these outdated tunes rattle in the harmony of your day-to-day flow?
Do you recognize any of these in yourself?
Well, I’ve got some news for you.
These realities present themselves when we’re in man-mode.
And when we are in man-mode we are being… SPERMY!
Oolala, just typing those words makes me tighten and tense up!
My muscles can still remember my marriage with man-mode.
The strenuous, overwhelming, fatigue and eye bag-inducing life constantly left me feeling disconnected. It felt like my mind, body and spirit were all being tugged and pulled in different directions, as opposed to a fluid, linear alignment.
There was no softness…
There was no yin to the abundant amounts of yang.
The forcing, pushing and overworking was slicing through the yearnings of my soul.
The gerbil wheel of staying in man-mode and being spermy had my feminine energy cut like sharp corners.
Yes, we do! However, I have found that in general, this doesn’t happen for people. Why? Because they don’t know what they want. Or, people know what they think they want, and this is not the real thing. This makes them frustrated and feeling disconnected from life.
The truth is
when you get to what you really want…it will not be what you think it is, and it will be many more things than you could possibly think!
I say think advisedly…because wantings and thinking don’t go together AT ALL! If you want to get to the core of your wantings you have to go down deep, deep into the nether regions of your belly to find out what wantings are about.
Wantings are about your gut; not about gut instinct, but gut desires…wantings are visceral, full of life, mystery and wonder.
Hence, why I use the word wantings; plural.
When you get down to it, there are always heaps of them. And you know that you are starting to get in touch with the real thing when there are more than you could imagine satisfying in one human life.
You have to think of wantings as something you get to by peeling them away, teasing them out from other ones that you think you want first. This is a process. It depends on how honest you are prepared to get with yourself…how daring, how courageous!
Wantings and desires goes pretty closely hand-in-hand. In the anatomy of desire is something alchemical and mysterious. If you aren’t prepared to go down deep to uncover desires then you will continue to skim the surface, stay safe, and never end up satisfied with your life choices and decisions. And we can’t talk about getting what you want if you aren’t prepared to look at, find and get what you desire….and desire is about the sexual energy.
This prospect is scary, even terrifying to most. To do this you’ll need to challenge a whole bunch of personal and social assumptions and paradigms.
Religion still tells us that desire is unsafe, un-godly and must be repressed or at least tempered at all cost. Modern religions are terrified of this force, this power. What if it gets out of control? However, whilst repressed or suppressed it ends up closeted. The porn industry is alive and growing thank you very much! Sexual violence can only ensue whilst it is not expressed normally, and by normally I mean with all of its depth, power and intensity in a relationship or other sexual experiences. Healthy sexuality has a broad expression.
In Indian tantra, kundalini yoga and western alchemy, the very fuel of their spiritual practice is the same fuel that is behind desire. We are taught to engage this fuel, this power toward our very enlightenment!
Yes, it is wild, and fierce, but whilst it isn’t owned by us it can be unpredictable and scary and remain deeply buried.
Own your desires and wantings and you enter life in a way your couldn’t possibly imagine. A life full of wonder, depth, creativity and connection.
“Women’s desire – it’s inherent range and innate power – is an underestimated and constrained force, even in our times, when all can seem so sexually inundated, so far beyond restriction.” He writes, “Despite the notions our culture continue to imbue, this force is not, for the most part, sparked or sustained by emotional intimacy and safety.” In fact, he argues, “One of our most comforting assumptions, that female eros is better made for monogomy than the male libido, is scarcely more than a fairy tale.”